


No More Chances (For TMNT Spooky Gift Exchange 2020)

by Deliciousdame



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Kissing, M/M, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26715892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deliciousdame/pseuds/Deliciousdame
Summary: Raphael has had feelings for their fearless leader ever since he could remember, but the fear of rejection of loving ones brother has kept him from taking the chance on finding out if the feelings were mutual. Now a tragic accident with Hun and his Purple Dragons has robbed him of ever telling Leo how he feels. There are no more chances.....
Relationships: Leonardo/Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59
Collections: Tmnt Spooky Gift Exchange 2020





	1. Love Unrealized

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skeetby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeetby/gifts).



> Warning: There is sensitive subjects below that some might not like. This story contains Tcest, if this subject makes you uncomfortable please stop reading. This is my first time writing it, please be gentle.

Warning: Sensitive Material in this story.

It was a first class clusterfuck, a simple stakeout had turned into a full-blown battle with the Purple Dragons. One of Hun’s brightest grabbed a flame thrower, a freaking flame thrower to attack them in an all wood ancient warehouse with crates of weapons and ammunition. Geniuses, the whole lot of them. Raph had to admit though it was entertaining to see their faces scrunch up in confusion and morph to realization when the old wood ignited like a tinder box sealing the fate of their already doomed operation.

So now the entire warehouse they were currently fighting in was ablaze and Raphael had already lost sight of two of his brothers in the raging inferno. If he didn’t stay diligent, he would lose sight of Leonardo and right now the behemoth named Hun was presently making that a difficult task.

Raphael easily dodged a right hook and spun landing the hard pad of his right elbow to Hun’s chin. The resounding crush that followed gave the red banded terrapin a reason to smile knowing the idiot would definitely need some dental work done after this. The blonde brute grunted on impact and staggered back just as a support beam from the ceiling gave way smashing into the ground between them.

Sparks and flames spat angrily at the two fighting men and Hun took that moment to look around at what was left of their operation. The fire was spreading quickly, and the crates of ammo were next to be consumed. It was best to abandon the warehouse, or he’d be fish food for sure. He would deal with Shredder’s wrath later.

“Later Freak!” Hun hissed heading towards the back of the warehouse dodging debris and falling flames as it toppled from above. 

“Oh no you don’t you overgrown vanilla gorilla!” Raph jumped over the burning beam and gave chase, focusing in on the white bobbing ponytail as it headed for the exit. Then his brothers came to the forefront of his mind. Where were they, did they make it outside safely? He needed to make sure they were safe from the growing inferno before he followed Hun out into the fresh air.

Skidding to a stop he whirled around to find his final brother gone from sight as well as most of the prior occupants of the burning building. The last of Hun’s men jumped from the warehouse out through a window as a large chunk of the rafters caved in right after them.

“Leo!” Raph called over the roaring flames. “Mikey, Don!” Nothing, they had to be out of the building by now. “Guys!”

To his left, his excellent vision caught site of a dark figure lying on the ground across the main room just behind a burning support beam. Hopefully alive, Raphael braved the heat and smoke to clear the failing building of any life left behind, his code of honor demanded it.

The heat rose quickly, and the fire was now licking at the wood crates stacked carefully in the back, he wasn’t stupid. They were there for a reason tonight. Guns, lots and lots of guns about to be distributed to many unworthy hands of the purple dragons and to the highest bidders. He could only imagine that was where they were being stored. Which means he wanted to be nowhere near this place when it went off and lite the sky up like the fourth of July.

Focusing back on the person across the room Raphael moved to assist with its removal. Several obstacles were in his way making him zig zag around the growing fire. He could feel the warmth radiate across his shell heating up his insides, he could even feel it in the floorboards below his feet. He needed to hurry if he didn’t want his insides to cook while he was still using them.

As he neared his target the large turtle could see something big lying on top of the guy. The ceiling was becoming more and more unstable, he needed to watch out himself for falling debris. Suddenly they began to move, groaning and coughing in the smoke as they shifted the large part of the rubble from their chest. Then he saw it, shell…and a flash of blue as the head turned!

Shell…..“Fearless!” Raph screamed now running as fast he could oblivious to the dangers around him. It was his brother, it was Leonardo, nothing else mattered besides saving his leader from the fire.

Just then a thunderous crack rang out throughout the rafters, the vibrations shook the entire building right down to the moorings making Raphael stumble as he ran for his wounded brother. Raph looked up just in time to see half of the warehouses ceiling come crashing down raining down metal and burning wood cutting off his path and sight to Leo.

“SHELL! LEO!”

“Raph? Is that you?” Leo managed to cough through the debilitating smoke and haze. He brushed of his plastron and staggered to his feet sheathing his katanas. The last thing he remembered was fighting off three assailants before everything went black. The large chunk of wood he had just removed from himself must have been the culprit. The smoke must have dulled his senses, he should have heard it break loose.

With what little light that was awarded to him in his dark corner Leo scanned his surroundings and found that he had been backed into a corner and surrounded by the buildings ceiling. The only way out was over the massive pile of fire ahead of him and last time he checked he wasn’t fireproof. “Raph!” he called over the crackling and rumbling of the failing structure. “I’m…I’m trapped!”

“I’m coming fearless! I’ll getcha (cough) out, just hold on!” Raph began his climb across the mass of twisted metal and burning debris.

The idiot was actually coming for him, Raph was climbing the colossal pile of rubble that was on fire! He was going to kill himself in a rescue that wasn’t viable. Leonardo knew those crates would get consumed any minute now blowing this place to smithereens. “No! Raph go! Those crates are about to go, you need to get out of here!”

“No, not without you!”

Leo pinched the bridge of his beak and felt the tears of the inevitable outcome of this horrid situation hit him. He was going to die today, leave this world with unfinished business. There were things that still needed to be said, said to Raph. Things he now regretted he failed to make clear years ago. Unfortunately, there was no time for it now, there were seconds left and if Raph thought he was going to die here with him he had another thing coming. He shifted to his leader voice and screamed for his stubborn hothead. “That’s an order Raphael!”

“Fuck you, I ain’t goin’ nowhere without you!” Raph started forward again when another large piece fell from the gaping roof sending the emerald green turtle back down to the ground landing on his shell. Then another piece fell and Raph barley managed to roll back just as it collided with the section of flooring he had just been occupying.

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, and he could barely hear Leo over the now raging firestorm blocking his pathway to his doomed brother. “Leo hold (cough) on!””

“Raph you need to (cough) take care of them now, you’re leader now! (cough) Tell Mike and Don I love them and Raph…(cough)…I love you too. Gods….Raph….I..real..”

“Leo, I love y….” his words were lost in the sudden explosion and the reverberation of the shockwave that hit him square in the chest knocking the breath straight from his lungs. His body lifted, shot back and somehow by the grace of the gods the back of his shell and head found the only window in that section of the warehouse clearing him of the enormous blast that followed.

The last thing Raph remembered as his body crashed into the Hudson and his battered skull succumbed to the darkness was his resounding scream for his eldest brother and the sobering knowledge, he’d never get to tell Leonardo how he really felt.

“Raph.” A trembling call of his name drug across the back of his subconscious burning through the haze pulling him away from the darkness and the heavy fog. He was cold and sad, no not sad, he was shattered, unmade, hollow. A tremendous loss had been dealt to the Hamatos, but what loss? Slowly his mind began to work again grabbing at images as they flew across his blurry vision. “Raph…” it called again but louder this time. Everything was starting to hurt besides his heart, his skull, his arms, his face and fuck, his shell. “Come on Raph.” Again…. where was that coming from?

Blue smoke began to swirl in front of him in the endless void and two blue eyes blinked behind the blue vail and disappeared. That was the loss…..his chest tightened at the renewed realization making him suck in mouthfuls of air, gasping and spurting in agonizing panic. Leo…..LEO………LEONARDO!

All at once Raph shot up screaming but two sets of hands pressed him back down, Mikey and Donnie had pulled him from the river. He should be dead; he should be dead too with Leo.

“Raph take it easy, slow down I think you have a concussion. Do you know where Leo is?” Donnie was covered in soot and his purple mask was singed, his brown eyes were locked in on him, concern etched in his features. “Leo…where’s Leo?” his voice was shaking now; he knew, Don just needed the verification.

Raphael’s eyes stung from all the smoke and were most likely blood shot, but they broke from his brothers gaze to look at the warehouse that was now fully consumed by fire.

Mikey was behind Raphael with his hands resting on his broad shoulders, he watched his brother look at the hopeless confirmation of his eldest brother’s whereabouts. “No…” he whispered hoarsely gripping at the muscles beneath the pads of his fingers tighter.

Raph’s dry tongue ran over his dry lips failing to bring moisture to anything. His throat hurt, felt like it was on fire and Raph knew when he finally vocalized what his brothers already knew would hurt in more ways than one. “He’s…. he’s in there. I couldn’t………I tried……I really did……”

Mikey beyond distraught clamored to his feet and headed towards the fire. “No, no, no, no Leo!”

Donnie leapt to his feet and ran for his little brother pulling him back away from the intense heat and flames that continued to grow higher into the night sky. The genius held onto his struggling brother until finally the old wood floors of the old wharf caved under the stress of the fire. Raph scrambled to his feet ignoring the wooziness of his concussion and watched alongside his brothers helplessly as the remnants of the warehouse and its burnt contents were dumped into the Hudson.

He was gone, there was no way someone could have survived that nor would there be a body to find in such an intense heat. Leonardo was ash now sinking into the harbor as his final resting place.

He tried, he tried so hard to contain the emotions bubbling to the surface. But everything he had been holding in and back came bursting through. Raphael’ fingers curled into themselves cutting half-moon gouges into his palms as he finally let it go. It started from his toes like an eruption traveling through his stomach and ripped from his lungs. Like an atom bomb he roared starling his two weeping brothers, they turned to him stunned seeing their warrior brother break apart like shattered glass.

As all the pent-up adrenaline and energy escaped through his mouth Raphael’s knees gave out and collapsed letting out another strangled roar before ramming his fists into the wood pier below.

Donnie and Mikey leaned down grabbing their brother’s forearms trying to prevent him from hurting himself further. Even for how short the outburst was it had left bloody marks along the wood grain and splintered carnage behind. Soon the familiar sirens of the NYC fire dept echoed along the waterfront. Time was up, they had to leave or take the chance of getting caught. They would come back later with the shell sub and see if they could find anything left of their leader. 

“Raph was have to go, the police and fire rescue are coming. We’ll be seen..”

“We can’t leave him; we have to find him. What if he’s……. what if…” Raph was beginning to hyperventilate. His chest heaved and shook as he struggled to take in long healthy breaths. He knew there was no way, but the genius, Donatello would figure out something, there had to be a chance Leo lived through that. Right?

“There’s no way he could have survived Raph, he’s gone, Leo’s gone. We need to leave; we need to go tell Sensei. We’ll come back when the police are done, and we’ll try to find anything we can of Leo to bury.” The words tasted horrible in Donatello’s mouth, bitter and hot, he wanted to vomit at the thought of burying Leo.

The genius’s gaze moved from his hothead brother to his baby brother and found him just staring at the massive hole in the wharf. Donnie’s hand rested on his shoulder making Mikey jump, they couldn’t mourn here, they needed to disappear. With what will he had left Donatello began to pull his two remaining brothers towards the battle shell and back to Sensei.

The ride back to the lair was quiet, too quiet. Raphael sat in the back alone with his head in his hands and his mind filled with imagines and memories of Leonardo. The first to assault him was back at Casey’s family farmhouse when they had been dealt a blow by shredder leaving Leo in a coma. He lay there unconscious, battered and bruised while each of them tried talking to Leo hoping their voices would wake him. He should have been honest with him then when they finally were successful but like usual when it came to expressing his feelings, Raphael choked and buried those feelings deep down once again.

He had so many chances but gods he was afraid, afraid that Leo would reject him, call him disgusting and kick him from their home. Separate him from all that he loved. It wasn’t like they were real brothers anyways; Donnie had done testing when his genius first started to take hold of his personality. It was one of the first tests they allowed him to perform eager for his knowledge to grow. Only Leo and Mikey were actual blood brothers, Donnie and Raph were of different parents. Plus, they were the only four of their kind, all male and the chance of them finding human companions was slim to none. It was only logical for them to find comfort in each other, it was cruel to expect them to never know what love was or the comfort of others touch. And Raph had loved Leonardo for as long as he could remember, the two always attached at the hip until puberty hit and the urge to mate started to take hold. They all had a high sex drive, but their teen years were a struggle. When spring would come around, they would get hostile, Raph mostly, which caused most of the fights between Raph and Leo. The urge to dominate, the urge to exert their alpha personalities took hold.

Leo seemed to control his impulses the best, Don too mostly, always in control, never nervous or fidgety during their rut. Mikey and Raphael found it the hardest to cope. Spending most of their days in season in their rooms trying to sate the ravenous thirst to fuck. Raph had found himself outside Leo’s room many nights trying to conjure the confidence to lay it all out on the line and take the leaders passion for his own. But he always retreated back to his room in defeat and another round with Rosie and her three friends.

Now it was over, there were no more tries, no more opportunities to tell Leo that he loved him. Twenty-two years of life, never afraid of a fight, the first to jump into the fray, but god forbid he gathered enough courage to express his feelings. He should have tried harder; he should have moved faster. He should have saved him, he was the protector, he was the warrior, the strength of the family, it was his fucking job! But he had failed him, failed Donnie, failed Mikey and failed Master Splinter.

The sudden knowledge that they would have to tell their master his eldest son was gone made his stomach roll. He could see his eyes now, the horror etching his old features clutching his chest as his heart broke. It was a parent’s worst nightmare, outliving their children and Splinter was old, there was no telling how his body would take the stress of the news.

Warmth brought him out of his mind, skin to skin, a comforting gesture came from the youngest. Mikey had taken up residence at his side making sure not to crowd the hothead but enough to be touching. Mikey always seemed to know when he needed comfort.

“I know what you’re doing.” Mikey whispered taking Raph’s emerald three fingered hand into his.

Raph allowed the contact, actually craving it. He wanted to wrap himself up in a protective cocoon with his remaining family and never leave. He would die for them; it should have been him. Raph should be ash and Leo should be here with Mikey and Donnie, Leo was the better turtle. Swallowing the bile rising in his throat Raph’s fingers intertwined with his brothers and let out a shaky breath, “And what am I doin’ Shell for brains?”

“You’re blaming yourself, I’ve known you for twenty two years Raph and in all of those years we’ve been brothers, all the years we’ve trained and patrolled, all the fights and wars, there has never been a time when you didn’t try your hardest. Gave everything you had to save us and today was no different. Don and I weren’t there in person, but we know you did all that you could to save him and Leo knows it too. Wherever he is….”

“He told me to leave.” Raph’s breath hitched as he made his mouth make the words. “He told me to take care of you and to let you guys know he loved you.”

“Classic Leo, I bet you ignored him too. I bet your stubborn shell surged forward with stupid determination to save him. Your safety be damned.” Mikey was laughing and crying now staring at the side of the battle shell as it rumbled along down the streets towards home. “I bet you almost got killed several times.”

“Three.”

“What?”

“I was nearly crushed twice and blown from the building.” His words were void of emotion as he began to squeeze Mikey’s hand. “I would have gone back in if I hadn’t been knocked unconscious.”

“And then we’d be down two brothers.” The laughing had stopped, and Mikey was now facing Raph tears streaming down his filthy cheeks disregarding the vice grip on his fingers. “Look at me Raph.”

The hothead obliged turning his head so he could stare into those baby blues, so much like Leo’s.

“You did all that you could, Leo like the rest of us knows the risks of the life we lead. We know each mission; each stake out could be our last. Today was Leo’s final mission but you have to remember he died doing what he loved; defending the people of New York. We stopped thousands of guns hitting the streets today. We did good today.”

“At what cost though?”

“Raph you always give 1000% when it comes to keeping us safe.” Somehow neither of them realized the truck had stopped and Donnie was now in front of Raph kneeling before him, hand placed over his and Mikey’s. “There was nothing more you could have done. If it wasn’t for that burst of energy from the explosion and that well placed window you would have died in there with him.”

“I know…I just….he’s gone and I didn’t get to tell him.”

“He knew Raph.” Mikey cut in softly resting his other hand over Donnie’s.

But he didn’t know, not to the extent but he couldn’t tell that to his brothers. There was no point now to it anyways. His chance for happiness was gone, ashes at the bottom of the river.

All three sat in the battle shell silent for quite a while huddled close together. It felt like hours but Raph knew it was probably only more like an hour, but he gathered none of them were ready to go face sensei and the hard truth they needed to tell.

It was Mikey who moved first, slowly and unsteady, but he rose to his feet and urged both his brothers to follow suit. “It’s time guys, Sensei needs to know if he doesn’t already.”

Donnie and Raph both nodded knowing there was no putting off the inevitable any longer and exited the truck. The three turtles shuffled their way out of the garage and into the main room finding their father sitting in his favorite chair book in his lap and his old furry hands folded over it. His eyes were fixed on his three sons, dirty, bruised and burnt.

“My sons, I’m guessing the stake out did not go as planned.” Their masters head tilted in jest smiling at their sad state.

“No sensei.” They answered back in unison making their way over to their father. All at the same time they lowered to their knees before their master heads hung low in defeat.

“Where is your brother?”

“Master Splinter.” Raph started finding his voice betraying him as it shook with emotion.

“Leo..he…..he’s gone.” Donatello finished for them looking up to see the confused look flash over their father’s face. 

“I am confused my sons. What do you mean gone?”

Raph lifted his face to meet his fathers, “The warehouse was set on fire during our fight with the dragons and it started to collapse. I saw a body and was going to get them out when I realized it was Leo. I moved faster and half of the ceiling collapsed blocking him from me and trapping him behind it. I tried to get to him, I did, but the fire reached the ammunition and went off sending me flying out into the Hudson.”

Splinter’s face showed no sign of sorrow just a quick flick of his eyes to the garage door. His lips lifting into a warm smile as his fingers reached down to his red banded son brushing away a stray tear that had finally made its way to his cheek. “Raphael my son, I have no doubt in my mind you did all that you could, but I assure you, your brother is not gone.” 

“How can you be so sure Master? We watched the ceiling collapse and the Hudson swallow it and him after the floor gave.” Donnie was confused looking to his brothers to share in the sentiment.

Their master leaned back and let out a long breath, “Because my sons, he is right behind you.” 


	2. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Leo home safe and sound can Raphael get the courage to finally tell Fearless how he feels and will Leo accept him.

Warning: Sensitive subject ahead (Tcest Smut)

All three turtles whirled around at neck break speed nearly toppling over each other to see what their father was seeing. There in the doorway to the lairs main entrance was the most wonderful sight any of them had ever seen. Their very much alive leader was soaking wet, had a large bloody gash that stretched from the top of his right shoulder blade to his elbow, a smaller cut above his left eye and missing his signature blue mask, but the fact remained was Leonardo alive.

Mikey and Donnie jumped to their feet immediately dashing across the main living space to catch Leo as he stumbled into the main room. Their arms engulfed him in tearful excitement steadying Leonardo on his feet.

The urge to go to him was painful but Raph couldn’t seem to move, every muscle was wound tight, coiled and aching but his body refused to obey. He was left to stare as Mikey and Don embraced their brother. Donatello was already taking count of all his injuries making metal notes of all the items he would need. Leo looked like shit and god damn beautiful at the same time. His leaf green skin was marred by the soot and ash of the fire even though it was apparent he had been in the river. He was missing a knee and elbow pad as well but both katana were still strapped securely to the back of his shell. Fearless had lost one pair already and he would be damned if he would lose another.

As Donnie and Mikey began to usher their injured brother towards Donnie’s lab Leo finally made eye contact with Raph. Those blue eyes seemed to sparkle as they met and Raph screamed at himself to move, to go to him. At least embrace him, seconds ago he thought he was gone, dead, no more chances.

When the furry hand of their Sensei rested on his carapace Raphael’s body finally reacted lifting his sturdy muscled weight and propelled him forward. Leo could see him barreling forward and moved Mikey out of the path of their brute brother and took the momentum of his hug with ease.

He smelled horrible from the stench of the river but Raph didn’t care, his beak moved to the uninjured shoulder and pressed into the crook of Leonardo’s neck and hugged him with all he was. Leo hissed at the shifting of his open wound but wrapped his arms around his hothead further regardless of the pain.

“We...thought you were…..” Raph murmured into the green flesh of his neck unable to finish the sentence.

“I thought I was too but when the ceiling collapsed it broke through part of the floor and as the ammo exploded I was able to break through the weak spot and plunged into the Hudson.” Leo pulled away from Raph’s arms and looked to Donnie ushering at his biggest repercussion. “I caught my arm on several nails as I slipped though the broken boards.”

Donnie wiped away a few tears and tenderly took his brothers wounded arm into his expert hands. “We’ll need to get this clean, all your wounds cleaned to remove the filth of the river so you don’t get an infection. You’ll need a few stitches at the top but I think the rest can be treated with butterfly bandages.”

Mikey’s smile was the biggest they had ever seen, he stood close behind Leo making sure to have one hand on him at all times, as though he would disappear if he wasn’t touching him, back to ashes in the Hudson. “Man I wouldn’t have cared if you came back with no arms I’m just so happy you’re alive.”

“Me too Mike.” Leo smiled taking a quick glance at Raph. “Me too. Although I am happy I still have my arms. Our fight isn’t over and it’s a little difficult to wield duel katana if I don’t have hands and arms to grip them.”

After a shower to clean his body of its funk and a thorough flushing of his wounds Donnie began to close and bandage Leonardo’s wounds. His family stayed within a few feet of him, Master Splinter taking up a spot right next to his son getting the full report of the night’s activities as the brainiac worked his magic.

Raph watched Donnie’s nimble fingers pass the needle and thread through the jagged flesh of Leo’s arm closing it with such precision it would leave barely a scar for remembrance. Leo make no indication the suturing hurt keeping his attention on their father. 

He was here, alive, back at home safe. Raph took in every inch of Leo rememorizing his brother in great detail. Those powerful thighs could carry out perfect katas while those well defined arms maneuvered his katanas with silent meticulousness. Leonardo was lean yet still covered in dense muscle, built for stealth and agility. Raph was bulkier, thicker, meant for brute strength, intended for the front line. Over the years they learned to work together honing their skills working with each other to maximize their effectiveness. It was a miracle none of them were dead yet but that was because of Leonardo and his exceptional leader skills. They all played a part, they were the perfect team. If they had lost him for real today their team would have crumbled without their support system.

As Donnie finished and Sensei began to tire they all agreed the night had been long enough and was time to retire. They said their goodnights and went to their own rooms but Raphael was nowhere near ready for bed.

  
The emerald turtle took his sai from his obi and set them down on his dresser and slipped his pads from his arms and legs setting them in the hamper to be washed the next day. One might need to be repaired but he was too worn out to see for sure. His fingers worked the knot of his obi easing it from his waist and threw it with his pads.

He was about to slid into his hammock when he caught site of his soiled hands and did a sniff test. He quickly came the conclusion he was in need of a shower was in order before he climbed into bed.

The steam swirled around the bathroom as Raphael washed his body. His fingers worked through the groves of his plastron finding loose bits that the explosion had imbedded into the boney plates. He picked them out carefully and watched them slide down the emerald legs and disappear down the drain. Untying the knot of his red mask he took the now soaked fabric into the palms of his hands and added soap cleaning it of dirt and ash.

After he was satisfied he wrung it out and returned it to its rightful place. Raphael sat a few more minutes under the hot spray keeping his palms against the tile wall as the pressure of the water targeted his tense shoulders. He rolled them cracking his neck and turned the water off.

His head shot up at the sound of the bathroom door closing. He could have sworn he locked it? But whoever it was could wait until he was done.

With his lean hips wrapped in a towel Raphael made his way back to his room ready to endure a sleepless night.

The large turtle swung slowly reading a motorcycle magazine Casey had just brought down. Nothing in the pages caught his attention though; he just seemed to be flipping through it endlessly until he reached the end with a huff.

He rolled the pages tight and flung the magazine across the room hitting his weight rack and rested his hands behind his head. Closing his eyes and mouth Raphael took in long heavy pulls of air trying desperately to calm his still thundering heart beat. His ears still hummed with the repercussion of the explosion, he would most likely be feeling the effects for a few days to come. Rolling to his side Raph tried to sleep but there was no solace in his mind; imagines of Leo burnt alive kept playing over and over in his head.

“He’s alive; he’s here in the lair in his room sleeping. He’s home.” Raph kept repeating to himself willing his body to relax but his mind and body had other ideas.

**_Get up!_ **

He thought there were no more chances, no more times to tell Leo, tell him how he had felt since childhood. And now he was here alive and well and Raphael was sitting in his room like a coward still hiding from his feelings. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he calls me a freak? What if we’re doomed to fail?” questions ran through his mind making his skull throb.

**_Get up._ **

What if?

**Coward, you nearly lost him today get off your ass and go to him.**

His feet swung from the canvas of his hammock and landed without a sound on the cold cement floor. A cold he had been used to for many years but tonight it felt different. The smooth surface worn down by years of movement and use suddenly felt rough. His toes curled against it scraping the green skin of his feet.

Then he was moving opening his door like he had done many nights before working on impulse and stopped right before Leo’s room. The palm on his hand rested gently against the wood frame and he let out a sigh. So many nights he stood here trying to gather the courage always coming up short, always returning back to his bed alone. But tonight was different, tonight he would go inside. His fingers curled into a fist and rose to knock hesitating at the rough surface of the old wooden door.

**_Knock you fool._ **

His knuckles rested against the door and reared back knocking gently.

“It’s open.” Leo’s voice came almost immediately after, he was still awake.

With shaky hands Raphael gripped the knob of his brother’s door and turned. The well oiled hinges of a katana wielder gave up no noise and Raphael was thankful. The last thing he needed was Mikey snooping around Leo’s room ease dropping on their conversation.

As he entered into the dark room illuminated by a single candle at his bed side Raph watched as Leo closed his book he had been reading and set it down.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Nah.”

“Me either.” Leo moved to the other side of his bed and urged the larger turtle forward. “It’s been an eventful night.”

When they were younger and had nightmares they would go to each other for comfort. The tradition ended years ago with puberty but tonight it seemed they both needed it.

Raph watched Leo pull the covers back and settle in and the emerald green turtle crawled in after.

On their sides facing each other, Leo and Raph sat in silence for a few moments before Raph swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke.

“I thought I lost ya tonight.”

“You almost did, but as fate would have it, you haven’t gotten rid of me yet Raph. I’m still here to boss your stubborn shell around.”

The poke made him laugh and Raph inched closer, close enough to feel each other’s breath on their beaks. “No matter how much trouble I give ya fearless I want ya to know that… I don’t know what I’d do without you. I came close today having to come to terms with that reality and I’ll tell ya there was a lot of words I realized I needed to tell ya.” Taking a deep breath Raphael shifted to rest on his elbow staring down at his attentive brother. “Ever since I can remember we’ve always had this bond, something that made hanging out with you special. I know when we hit maturity things kinda went sideways.”  
  


“Kinda?” Leo chuckled readjusting to get a better angle to look at his brother. “There were times I thought you wanted to rip me from my shell.” 

Raphael’s face warmed thinking about a few ways he had thought about taking Leo from his shell, but none involved pain, most ways required his tongue. “Yeah um, I was mostly trying to keep my hormones in check but I wasn’t the best at expressing my feelings in the right way.

Leo’s eyes widened and his lips parted distracting Raph for a moment, “Feelings? Ohh…” Leo wasn’t a genius like Don but he was smart, smart enough to pick up what Raphael was trying to say without actually coming out and saying it. No pun intended. “Feelings… for me?”

“Yea and I had them even before I hit puberty I swear. My rut just intensified those feelings changing the course of my thought process. I think I’ve always known, ya know? I was a coward, but tonight it hit me hard that I would never get to tell ya and when you showed up alive I knew it was time to turtle up. Even if you didn’t feel the same I had to let you know that…that.. I love ya.”

Leo’s face unreadable made the large turtle a little anxious. His blue eyes moved back and forth watching the hothead stew in his shell waiting for some form of response. It was literal torture waiting but when Leo leaned up and forward pressing his lips against his Raph let out a soft sob of relief reengaging their beaks quickly.

Raphael’s hand moved to Leo’s cheek slanting his mouth to gain better access to his brother’s mouth. Their beaks part mouths fitting perfectly, they were made for each other both growling at the wondrous sensation. His tongue pressed against his lips and Leo opened to allow him access groaning as the warm appendage slipped inside to collide with his.

As the kiss deepened further the two turtles lowered back to the bed with Leo urging Raph closer pulling him nearly on top of him. Breaking the kiss so they could catch their breath Raph stared down at the smaller leaf green turtle. “How long?”

“Since we were five.” Leo confessed reaching up to reengage their mouths.

Raph grew stunned at the ferocity of Leo’s growing kiss, hungry and passionate clinging to him as if he was his only life line. Leo’s tongue grew impatient and pressed back entering Raph’s mouth moaning finally getting his first official taste of his hothead brother. The feeling was amazing rising the temperature in the Raph’s already over stimulated body. He nipped at Leo’s bottom lip getting another groan from his leader and felt the first roll of his hips.

Prying his mouth from Leo’s Raphael looked down to see a very prominent bulge at the soft cartilage of his brother’s groin. “Someone’s impatient?”

Leo leaned up and began to press his mouth to Raphael thick neck leaving wet trails as he went, “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this? All those times you came to my door I hoped you’d finally get the nerve to come in but you never did. It took me nearly dying for you to knock.”

The larger turtle tilted his head back to give access to Leo’s impatient mouth, “You knew I was there?”

“Raphael ever since we hit puberty I have been hyper sensitive to your scent. Why do you think I meditate so much? You were driving me insane every time you got close.”

“I was sacred you’d reject me. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you so I dealt with the reality of just being brothers.” Leo’s teeth found a certain spot on his throat and deep in his belly Raph felt the beginning of a churr roll up and out of his throat.

The mouth currently attached to his throat stopped its assault and a second churr filled the room. “Shell Raph, I’ve never heard you do that before. Do it again…”

The sound of Leo’s reciprocation went right to his quickly swelling erection and Raphael shifted to settle himself between Leo’s thighs. “You first.” His mouth descended and latched onto his brother’s pulse point sucking until the blood vessels burst.

As another churr rolled from between his parted lips Leo followed with the soft groan of his name. “Rapahel..”

“Again.”

“R-Raphae-l.”

His lips moved south to his clavicle and down the boney front of his plastron all the while enjoying the speed of his brother’s breathing increase. The chorus of his name continued until the warmth of his wet mouth found the bulging slit and experienced the full scent of Leonardo’s musk. Just like he had imagined it was smooth and heady, with a hint of that fancy tea he drank every day. He consumed it so much it was part of him now.

“Are you sure? There’s no going back after this…once I get a taste I’m not letting you go.”

“I nearly died today Raph and the last thought I had was of you and what we never shared. I want it all and I want it now.”

That was all the consent he needed. Raphael’s lips parted enclosing around the parting cartilage and sucked until the hard length slipped from its housing and directly into the waiting mouth of the emerald turtle.

Leo’s mouth opened in a silent gasp at the first pull of his brother’s mouth. There was no comparison from his hand to the moist warmth of what was currently being done to him, for him. His hands reached for the emerald green dome and gripped tightly pressing himself to the back of Raph’s throat groaning as he was rewarded with the soft swallow. “Raph!” 

With a soft pop Raphael pulled back taking a long lick from base to tip and blew against the helm of his brother’s cock. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say my name that way.”

Panting hard Leo’s leaned up to lock eyes with the bigger turtle positioned between his legs, “If you stop questioning my every move I’ll make you hear it more often.”

Wrapping his lips around the soft spongy head swirling his tongue to the underside to make Leo shutter Raphael pulled free again, “Nah, someone’s gotta keep you honest. It’s my job as second in command to make sure you’re making the right decision.” His mouth slipped back over and down to the root in one swift moment and began to work at the shaft gradually swelling in his mouth.

“F-fair point…shell…R-Rap-h.mmmm…” words began to lose their meaning as the hot mouth wrapped around him began to use more pressure, work harder. Leo could feel the coil tighten in his gut, a heat, much different then tonight’s ordeal began to consume his body. “Rap-phael…..please…..I’m…gods…so warm….Rap….mhhmmm…. I’m gonna….”

Raphael could feel the length in his mouth swell and throb. He sucked it down to the back of his throat and swallowed just as his brother reached his peak allowing him to take the white hot load easier. The warmth pulsed rolling down his esophagus and the combination of Leo’s low steady groan finally made the erection he was trying to contain slip free. It unfurled to full mass quickly coming to rest on the sheets below him. His hips rocked forward to gain a little friction allowing another churr to slip free sending vibrations into the cock in his mouth. Leo’s strong thighs tensed harder, cummed harder and Raph could feel the flesh embedded deep in his throat give its last pulse of release before Leo slumped back to the bed with a heavy sigh. 

With a wet pop he released the smaller turtles deflating erection and moved up to kiss him hard.

Leo surprisingly loved the taste of himself mixed with Raph, his fingers found Raph’s dense shoulders and kissed back desperate for more contact. When he felt the warmth of Raphael’s throbbing erection press to his inner thigh Leo spread his legs wider and reached to the drawer of his nightstand. His fingers found the knob and pulled the drawer open quickly but the angle was wrong and couldn’t grip what he needed desperately. 

Breaking free of the kiss he gulped in much needed air, “The drawer, please get it.”

Despite the release he just experienced Raphael could hear the desperation in his brother’s voice. “What’s in the drawer Fearless?” he reached in and the pads of his fingers came across two circular items and latched onto both. His pupils blew wide at his realization of Leo’s late night activities. In his hand he held a large red dildo and a bottle of lube. “Damn Leo, how long have you been coring yourself out? With a red fake cock too? Is that supposed to be me? Cause it’s lacking I’m afraid.”

“Yes, I think of you when I use it. Jesus Raph please….wait, what do you mean it’s lacking?” Leo pushed against his brother’s chest and found the larger turtle’s erection bobbing thick and heavy between his thighs. He wasn’t exaggerating either, the cock he had been imagining all these years was bigger, much bigger then he was used to taking. The thought alone made his retreating cock twitch back to life. “Oh shell.”

Raphael dropped the inadequate chunk of silicone back in the drawer, “You aint’ gonna need that ever again.” and his thumb popped the cap of the lube. Squeezing a liberal amount onto his fingers Raph looked down to find Leo’s tail flat against the bed thick with need. His slick fingers ran a cool strip at the base before encircling the swollen tail stroking it in long steady pulls.

Leo’s head rolled back, eyes following suit at the illicit friction gripping at the sheets until they tore under his strength. “Raph, it feels so much better when you play with my tail.”

The hothead’s thumb came into play finding the moisture coating the emerald skin and inched forward towards the puckered entrance. The tip of his thumb pressed in just enough to breach the tight ring of muscle but not enough to enter and Leo’s hips lifted from the bed. “How often do you play with your tail fearless? Every time you play with yourself?”

The two fingers wrapped around his sensitive tail gripped harder working back up to the base and pressed at the base of his spin. “Only when we-w ohhh….mmmmm… when we’ve had a big fight. I need it harder those days. I need the intensity to match yours.”

Raphael leaned forward and released the tail in his possession leaving an inch between the smaller turtle lips and his. He coated his fingers with the lubricate more and found the soft issue of his brothers entrance and pressed in slowly. With pure delight he watched Leo’s pupils bloom nearly covering the blue of his eyes as he sunk his thick digit to the first knuckle. “When you’re coring yourself out with that red toy do you say my name when you cum?” his lips lowered ghosting over the smaller turtles lips.

“Yessss.”

“Did you wish it was my fat cock fillin ya up?” Pushing forward again he sunk in all the way and began the prep, in and out, twisting, turning. Raph could feel Leo’s hips lift from the bed with each drive of his finger.

“Raph.”

Suddenly Leo tensed and arched gasping for breath rocking back on his finger. “That your sweet spot?”

“Raph.. press harder.”

He obliged and drug the pad of his finger over the raised tissue and Leo covered his mouth to mute the shout.

“Raph…mm.fuu……please.”

Pressing down again Raph growled into Leo’s ear, “Use your words fearless. What do you want?”

“You Raphael, I need you inside me.”

The larger turtle pulled his finger free slowly and leaded back supporting his weight on his knees. His hand grabbed for the bottle once again popping the top and poured a cool line of the lubricant directly along his engorged shaft. 

“Wait.” Leo whispered softly getting up. His blue eyes stayed with his brothers and reached for him wrapping his fingers around the hot flesh coating it liberally with slow and firm strokes.

Raphael’s eyes closed as his brothers began to stroke him bringing another churr from his chest. He rolled his hips forward into the right grip listening to the moister slip through his fingers. It was a wonderful feeling but not quite what he wanted.

As if reading his mind Leo lowered back to the bed positioning the tip of the larger turtles cock at his entrance. Raphael gripped the base of his throbbing length and pressed forward until just the head slipped through the tight barrier.

“Raphhh…”

Slowly he began to sink into the tight heat of the smaller turtle beneath him. The clutch was heart stopping as he bottomed out and stilled. He was much larger then what Leo was used to so there had to be discomfort at some level and the last thing he wanted to do was intentionally cause him pain. But Jesus the need for friction was excruciating. There were no words for this, no thoughts, feelings that would express the shear sensation of being encased inside Leo’s body. So many nights he lay in bed hand wrapped around his cock imagining Leo beneath him or on top crying out his name as they came undone together. And now it was happening and there was no going back to his hand. Not ever. 

He could hear Leo taking in heavy breaths, squirming below him making soft whimpering noises. “Are you alright Fearless?”

“I never thought I’d feel this….feel the thick heat of you inside me….mmhmmm.. so big…..so fucking full…”

“Ohhh, watch the language Leo. Let’s not lose that boy scout image of yours just because you’re getting my dick.” Raph began to pull out slowly and shift forward sinking to the root with no resistance. Moving his hands to the side of Leo’s head Raphael leaned down to claim his brother’s lips in a searing kiss and he began to move within.

Leo rolled further back onto his shell and lifted his legs to wrap round Raph’s hips managing to take more of his cock into his body. His breath hitched and sped up as Raphael started to spilt him open with the power behind those hips and powerful legs. The initial sting of entry had faded quickly morphing into mind numbing pleasure as the long length filled him to the brim. Raphael was much bigger than the toy he used, warm and pliable not cold and unyielding like that silicone imposter.

Desperate for the pressure in his groin to release Leo reached for his erection as it slid along this plastron coating the boney plates with pre cum. His hand was quickly swatted away by the large turtle above him. Raphael growled snapping his hips forward with sudden brutal force. “You cum from this cock or you don’t cum at all.” 

Leo yelped at the sudden strike against his prostate and nodded clawing at Raph’s shoulders.

The bed rocked beneath them as Raphael began to lose himself in Leo, his mind focused solely on the turtle below him. Every sound he made every bunch of his muscles as he marched him towards his end. He would make him his, mark him in more ways than one tonight. He didn’t care who knew, their life was small and all they had was each other. The drives of his hips worked deeper into Leo coring him out better then that toy ever could, making him remember it could never compare to Raph.

Leo’s hands were now clutching wildly at the rim of his shell lifting his hips to meet every downward drive. His name spilled from the leader’s lips over and over and it only heightened this moment. Every cell in his body was on fire fueling the climax that was quickly building in his gut. He drove for it chasing the feeling down but Leo needed to go again and he wanted a front row seat. His hand reached below them and ran from the back of his thigh to the underside of his right knee lifting it. He hooked Leo’s foot over his shoulder and shifted changing the angle he was giving.

As his leg lifted to Raphael’s shoulder the length embedded slipped deeper and struck his prostate dead on; once, twice, three times. Each strike sent his body on fire blurring his vision until the fourth connection. His body reacted with wonton abandon and tensed, every muscle in his body coiled like a snake and snapped making the peak that had been building rush to the surface and erupt with overwhelming intensity. 

Raph could feel Leo fluttering around him, squeezing down and as his lover’s breath stopped Raph grabbed hold of Leo’s cock and pulled quick and firm. “Cum for me Fearless.” Raphael watched his face morph into bliss and anticipated the scream smothering it with his mouth drinking down the blessed sound of his brother hitting his climax hard. The heat of Leo’s release poured rope after rope of pearlescent ejaculate over his hand and Leo’s chest coating them both.

The sudden strangle hold of Leo’s body clamping down on him made Raph stagger and feel the beginning of his own climax take hold. “Fuck Leo.” Raph groaned breaking free of the leaf green turtle’s eager mouth. The heat started at his toes flooding his system until it felt like lava racing through his veins. As his peak bloomed and took hold Raphael rumbled and leaned forward clamping down on the soft tissue of Leonardo’s neck marking him. The larger turtle held him place as his cock expanded locking him inside and pulsed flooding his brother’s insides with the white hot torrent of his climax. He pushed in deep, until the lower part of their plastrons clacked together and Raph rocked in small steady movement’s emptying himself of every last drop of his cum.

As they both road out the final aftershocks of their euphoria Raph kept himself seated in the warm of his lover’s body. They each drug in heavy gulps of air trying to calm their breathing but neither wanted to lose contact.

Leo’s blue mask was cockeyed and his leaf green face flushed with exertion and a sleepy smile plastered over his face. Raph leaned down again placing small deep kiss after kiss until he slipped from Leo’s body.

Raphael landed on the sheets next to Leo keeping his brother in his sights, “How ya holdin up?”

Leo’s eyes were closed now having finally gotten his breathing under control. His head turned slowly and his blue pupils emerged from behind fluttering eyelids. “I think I’ll be a little sore in the morning but other than that I’m on cloud nine.”

“Are we gonna tell them?”

Leo laughed rolling to his side to grab Kleenex from his nightstand to begin cleaning up the mess he had made on his stomach. “I think we made enough noise to make it very apparent what happened in here tonight.” Leo winced as he felt the warmth of Raphael’s release slide down his backside to soil the sheets beneath. “I think I’m going to need another shower.”

“I think we both need another shower.”

“Maybe another round as well?” Leo’s eyes suddenly got dark and leaned over to Raph. “But this time I’m going to make you scream my name.”

“Oh, it’s on Fearless.” 


End file.
